I may have to change the name of Science Divas to Doing Business Backwards and in High Heels.  Like anything new, there is a learning curve to staring a new business.  All in all it has been 90% fun and 10% work.  I think we are making progress.  At times, we even recognize that we don't know something! Which is better than not knowing and not knowing that you don't know.  Kinda like doing taxes.

So, two friends, scientists and moms decide to start a business.  How hard can it be? We've watched Shark Tank (and wow! the back story on the source of designs used by the teen phenom is an eye-opener to be sure....something tells me the millions in sales will overcome any pesky copyright problems).  We've done some reading.  But mostly we've talked about what kinds of things WE would like to buy - and then we've gone out and found them.  When we couldn't find them, we made them!  So now we have two kitchens full of products.....just waiting......for someone to find us!

Maybe we really didn't know what we were getting into but life is full of chances just waiting to be turned into opportunities.  Meanwhile, the crazy guy with the home-sewn trash can lid got a deal from the Sharks - so why not us?

Just in case, our next project might be business school.

S#!t my mom says #1.

Everyone has a shit my ____ says twitter feed, YouTube channel or TV show, so I thought I should, too.  For me, it’s the little pearls of wisdom offered by my mom that will stay with me the longest.  She was the one, afterall, who reminded me to ask my OB/GYN about birth control at my 6 week post-partum checkup.  Guess who didn't listen to Mom?  That's right. And little Freddie arrived 16 months after little Ginger and little Fred.  Sufficit to say, I learned my lesson and will always listen to Mom.  So here we go, Shit My Mom Says #1. 

“Don’t force a man to choose between his job and his family – he’ll choose his job.  Don’t force a woman to choose between her husband and her kids – she’ll choose her kids” - Mom

 Let’s take the first part first.  Very 1950s, I know.  Yes my mom worked my entire childhood but she was still, at heart, a 50s gal.  I was a young teenage when she shared this particular gem with me and I totally believed it (but only a few years earlier I still believed in Santa Clause, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny so don’t trust my judgment on this one too much).   Looking at it today as a busy dancing scientist and mom, I want to reflexively reject the idea that Fred would pick his job over me and the kidlets.  I still don’t think he would.  But I do wonder if this truism is the root of the quiet sexism that persists in a few dank little corners of the workplace (like Science….). 

In the 50s, employers demanded that a man sacrifice his family to demonstrate his dedication to the job.  Hence heavy travel schedules, 80 hour weeks, etc in so many industries.  While many positive changes have been made (see moist breast pads for an example), the expectations for travel and long hours is still alive and well today in science.  I was recently turned down for a promotion and the committee cited as a reason my lack of an “international” reputation in my field.  The only way to get an international reputation is to travel internationally.  Not gonna happen with little Ginger, Fred, and Freddie at home.  But many of my male colleagues regularly go on trips that take them away from home for 2 weeks, no problem.  Despite so many improvements in the workplace, this tacit expectation that a professional sacrifice their family life to prove their dedication is a relic from the past that actively holds women back.

Now about that other part……Sorry, Fred.  I would still pick the kids ;-)  I guess some things don’t change.

Is "shot my wad" acceptable in the workplace?

So here, my friends, is my topic of discussion for today.  My boss, for whom I have a great deal of respect and have never had any reason to suspect him of being a sexist pig, has twice used the phrase "shot my wad" in conversation with me.  As in, "I don't think we can put together another grant this year.  We shot our wad on the last one".  Nice, right?  I get major props for keeping my facial features in line.  When the actual words he had said registered in my brain, the urge to allow my eyebrows to merge with my hairline was practically involuntarily.  However, I give a shit what Boss thinks of me, so I kept it together.  He probably thought I had a nervous twitch.  Out loud I managed a noncommittal, "huh, that's too bad" response while inside my brain was shouting, "Holy shit! Did he really just say what I think he just said??"

So, that was the first time Boss used this phrase. Yes, there was a second.  Once, I can pass off as an inadvertent slip.  But twice?  Now I'm curious. "Shot my wad"  from a man that I have never even heard use one of the good curse words.  Surely "fuck" comes earlier in the inappropriate work language lexicon than "shot my wad"?? 

Let's dissect the possibilities.  First, he uses the phrase so frequently that it no longer means what it actually means. I can just see this mild mannered scientist talking to a waitress, "I would go for dessert, but I shot my wad on that entree".  Or turning down a girl scout, "Sorry, no cookies for me.  I shot my wad on a boy scout and his popcorn." See how wrong this is??

Second possibility: he doesn't really know what it means.  He just thinks it is a colorful way of saying, "I am all done".  Possible, but unlikely.  He is a grown man with an advanced degree.  More to the point, he has a teenage son.

Last possibility. Boss just doesn't see anything wrong with using that phrase in conversation with a female colleague....

Ding ding ding.  I think we have a winner.   

My mother always said, if you want something done - ask a busy person.  I am that busy person. So why not start a blog?  Let's see....there's my first job (Scientist), my second (side-hustle), my third (house cleaner / chauffeur / cook). I think I count as busy.  And as working moms know, there really is no separation between these job.  In fact, they friequently run together. Sometimes to our benefit - my kids always have awesome science fair projects.  But ususally to our embarassment.  I know I left a trail of moist breast pads in various places when my kids were babies because I would get to the pumping room at work and find only one in my bra.  I can only imagine where the other ended up and what the person who found it must have thought....

I have chosen to call this blog Doing Science Backwards and in High Heels as a tribute to Ginger Rogers who, as the saying goes, did everything Fred Astair did but backwards and in high heels. I am fairly certain that most of my male colleagues have not outlined a grant at a McDonald's playand table or edited a manuscript in the pumping room or juggled birthday parties for twins the same weekend before a grant deadline.

So that's me. Scientist, wife, mother, small business owner and now blogger. My life is busy, messy, embarassing, and probably good for a few laughs.